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Destiny
Jan 19, 2005 19:55:04 GMT -5
Post by CaptainPierce on Jan 19, 2005 19:55:04 GMT -5
Well, this is about the third board I've posted this on; I'm interested in what the Trekkies here think of it. Let me hit you with a little background on this. Back in my days as a Homeworld modder, I was writing an on-line story to flesh out the mod a friend and I were making. I was re-writing the hell out of the thing, and I was kind of getting the itch to write something and NOT re-write it endlessly; and I was reading the DS9 "Companion" book, where it talked about the seventh-season episode where Ezri went back to her family's "ranch" on some planet, and the creative team was talking about their original concept of "Ezri Dax, Mafia Princess." Seems they had considered having her mother, instead of just being a garden-variety bitch, be a complete bitch, and a "godfather" in the Orion Syndicate--to the point where she'd somehow had an influence on the fact that Ezri wound up with the Dax symbiont. That turned out to be going a little far even for the DS9 crew, so they had to scramble to finish the episode, and were ultimately not-quite-satisfied with the way it turned out. Well, that got me thinking about how Ezri might actually have wound up with the symbiont, and this is what I came up with. Each of these chapters (with the exception of 4) was done over the course of a day (at work ), and posted with minimal rewriting. I'll start the story in the next post due to message length limits... which I'm hoping will not be more annoying than they already have been...
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Destiny
Jan 19, 2005 19:57:55 GMT -5
Post by CaptainPierce on Jan 19, 2005 19:57:55 GMT -5
And now, without further ado... the damn story... * * * * * [One pronunciation note: "Sile" is pronounced "See-Lay."] Chapter One ( originally written 01/14/03) In a small junior officer's cabin on the USS Destiny, Ensign Ezri Tigan woke up for the third time that night. Looking out her window, she realized why--the Destiny had come out of warp. "Make up your mind," she muttered to the ceiling, hoping the remark would make its way up to the Bridge and whoever kept ordering the ship in and out of warp. While Ezri had only been on the ship a few months, and had yet to develop the sense that starship crewmen often display of knowing the ship's exact warp factor just from feeling the vibration of the deck plates, she was familiar enough with the Destiny by now to feel transitions in and out of warp, and large changes in warp factor, and the night had been full of them. The Destiny had been on routine patrol along the Cardassian border (or, at least, as routine as patrol along an enemy border can be) when Ezri went to sleep. Less than an hour later, she'd been woken up the first time as the ship went to warp; and two hours after that, woken up agin as the ship went from cruise speed to something a lot closer to its maximum. Now we're stopped, and then we'll go back into warp, and then we'll speed up, and then we'll have to slow down at some point to rest the engines... It's all a conspiracy to rob me of a good night's sleep, the young ensign told herself. She looked out the window again, and a flash of movement caught her eye. Ezri got out of bed and crossed to the window for a closer look. A Starfleet runabout was rapidly approaching the Destiny, passing out of her view as it slowed and swung around on approach to the main shuttlebay. Ezri waited for the jump back into warp, which happened only minutes later, before going to back to bed. As she finally managed to fall asleep again, she was wondering what this all was about. Which was a question that was even more on her mind when she was woken up again an hour later by yet another change in speed. This time, she didn't need much experience with the ship to help her gauge its speed--the vibration she felt in the deck was the same on almost every warp-capable ship, the vibration of a ship at or beyond its rated maximum warp factor. Knowing she wasn't going back to sleep under these circumstances, she decided to get dressed and head to Sickbay. Maybe someone down there knows what's going on, she thought. Sickbay was in a general uproar as Ezri entered, the sort of uproar that meant a medical emergency in progress. Yet, as she looked around, all the beds were empty. She was jst about to ask one of the nurses what was going on when the Destiny's Chief Medical Officer came out of the ICU and spotted her. "Ezri, thank God you're here," said Doctor Jamia Pyne. "I could use your help." Ezri headed for the Intensive Care Unit. "You have a patient who needs counseling?" she asked. "Not exactly," Pyne replied. "Maybe 'help' is the wrong word--I'm glad you're here, but it's more for my sake than the patient's." Ezri was just about to ask the doctor what she was talking about when she saw the patient, and understood all too well. Resting on one of the ICU beds in what looked like a clear plastic specimen container filled with goo was a Trill symbiont. "Great Maker," Ezri whispered. "Who is it?" "Dax," Pyne told her. "Did you know it?" "Not personally, no. By reputation--but then, most Trills know of the Dax symbiont." Pyne sat down on the empty bed. "The current host--or, should I say, the former host--was Jadzia Dax, who was stationed on Deep Space Nine. I don't know all the details, but apparently she was shot. Their doctor tried to stabilize her, at least long enough to get the symbiont back to Trill, but the injury was too severe." Ezri jumped as an alarm went off. Pyne hurried to the symbiont, and studied the readings. "And, as you can probably imagine, none of this has done the symbiont any good." The doctor tapped her comm badge. "Pyne to Raymer." "Go ahead, Doctor.""Captain, you'd better get down here. The symbiont just took another turn for the worse." "On my way." Ezri and Pyne spent the two minutes preceding the Captain's arrival in silence. Ezri considered going over and looking at the symbiont's readouts, but decided against it--she'd only by in Pyne's way, and the readouts probably wouldn't mean anything to her anyway. "How bad is it, Doctor?" Captain Raymer asked as he entered the ICU. "Bad," Pyne replied. "How much longer until we can reach Trill?" "If we can hold warp nine-point-nine-eight, and if Barzan doesn't start a mutiny over it, twelve hours." Pyne shook her head. "Not soon enough, I'm afraid. The symbiont has two hours, three at the most." "Damn." Raymer looked at the symbiont, and Ezri followed his gaze. They were both thinking much the same thing--it was such an unassuming life form, yet it had accomplished so much. "I just got off the horn with Starfleet Command, Doctor--Admiral Nechayev hinted that President Jaresh-Inyo himself would transfer me to command of a garbage scow if I didn't get the Dax symbiont back to Trill alive. What options do we have?" "At this point, Captain, I only see one option. The only way to save the life of the symbiont is to find it a host."
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Destiny
Jan 19, 2005 19:58:37 GMT -5
Post by CaptainPierce on Jan 19, 2005 19:58:37 GMT -5
Suddenly, Ezri was the center of attention in the room. "Don't look at me," she said. "I've never had any interest in being joined--never took any of the classes. The Symbiosis Commission would have a fit if any symbiont, let alone one as famous as Dax, was put into me."
"Admiral Nechayev told me to keep Dax alive by any means necessary. The Symbiosis Commission is supposed to be calling any minute now to confirm that. I have a feeling that, given the choice between Dax's life, and standard protocol, they're going to choose the former."
The intercom beeped. "Captain, I have a transmission for you from Trill--a Doctor Renhol from the Symbiosis Commission."
"Pipe it through to the ICU," Raymer ordered, and a viewscreen came on with the image of Doctor Renhol, wearing what looked to Ezri suspisciously like pajamas. "Doctor, thank you for contacting us so quickly."
"Under the circumstances, it seemed any delay could be disastrous. What is the condition of the Dax symbiont?"
Pyne stepped forward. "Deteriorating rapidly, Doctor. I don't believe I can keep it alive outside a host for more than three hours."
"Is there a suitable host on your ship?"
"Well, there's a potential host, but whether she's suitable is more your department than ours." Raymer motioned for Ezri to step into the video pickup's field. "Doctor Renhol, this is Ensign Ezri Tigan, our assistant ship's counselor."
"Captain, Doctor, with no disrespect intended to Ensign Tigan, is there another option? There have been instances where symbionts have been placed into human hosts temporarily. Based on the Odan case in particular, it would almost seem that a human host may be preferable for a temporary joining."
"I've studied Bev Crusher's notes on the joining of Odan and Commander Riker extensively in the last six hours," Pyne said. "It's something I was considering up until a few minutes ago, when the symbiont's condition deteoriated again. I don't believe it could survive a joining with a non-Trill host."
Renhol turned her attention to Ezri. "Very well, then. Ensign Tigan, do you understand what this entails?"
"No, ma'am, I don't think I do."
Renhol smiled. "Well, you're honest, at least. Ensign--Ezri--there have been instances where a symbiont and a host have been joined temporarily, and then separated. If Doctor Pyne is correct in her assesment of the Dax symbiont's condition, though--and I have no reason to believe that she is not--then that will not be possible in this case." Pyne nodded. "This will have to be a full joining, and a difficult one at that. I presume that, since I don't recall your name, you've never been an Initiate?"
"No, ma'am. To be honest, I never had any interest in being joined."
"Then it will definitely be difficult for you. None of us can tell you what to do, Ezri, we can only tell you this: if you do not consent to the joining, then the Dax symbiont will die."
Ezri was silent for a moment. "Can I have some time to think about it?"
"Certainly. But no more than... Doctor?"
"One hour," Pyne said. "That will still give me plenty of time to perform the joining with time to spare."
"One hour, then. I will be keeping this channel open to confer with Doctor Pyne, Ezri--feel free to break in and ask any questions you might have."
As Ezri left Sickbay, Raymer followed her as Pyne and Renhol began discussion the symbiont's condition in more detail. Together, they entered a turbolift. "Deck five," Raymer told it.
"Do you think I should do this, sir?" Ezri asked her captain.
"Like Doctor Renhol said, no one can tell you whether to do it or not, Ensign. Even if I just say that I think you should do it, coming from me, it sounds something like an order." The lift stopped, the doors opened, and Raymer stood in the doorway for a moment. "You haven't been on board long, Ensign, but what I've seen from you in the last few months tells me that you're capable of making the right decision all on your own."
As the doors closed behind him, Ezri sank against the back wall of the lift. "Why me?" she asked.
"Please restate destination," the computer replied.
Ezri sighed. "Deck eight."
Like most starships, the Destiny had a main observation lounge flanked by several smaller ones, and it was to one of these smaller ones that Ezri went. For most of the hour she had for her decision, she sat there in darkness, the room lit only by the Doppler-shifted stars in front of the ship. Destiny, she thought to herself. How ironic is that? I'm on a ship named Destiny, , and now I have to make a decision that will affect my destiny for the rest of my life. And affect another living being for who knows how long after that.
Fifty-four minutes after leaving the ICU, Ezri Tigan returned. "Doctor Pyne, Doctor Renhol, I've made my decision," she said...
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Destiny
Jan 19, 2005 19:59:08 GMT -5
Post by CaptainPierce on Jan 19, 2005 19:59:08 GMT -5
Chapter Two (originally written 01/15/03)
When Ezri Tigan woke up, she wasn't alone. And not just because of the two doctors in the room with her--she wasn't alone in her head.
"I guess the operation was a success," she said.
Both doctors, Jamia Pyne of the USS Destiny and Sile Renhol of the Trill Symbiosis Commission, nodded. "Both you and the Dax symbiont are perfectly healthy," Pyne told her.
"Good," Ezri said, and promptly went back to sleep.
The next time she woke up, only Pyne was in the room with her. "I guess it's time to get my Starfleet ID card reprinted," Ezri told her.
Pyne smiled. "How does it feel to be a joined Trill?"
"About the same as it did the last time," Ezri said. A perplexed look came over her face. "What did that mean?"
"It means that you seem to have at least of the memories of the previous hosts," Dr. Renhol said as she entered the room. "You're likely to find yourself saying things you don't understand completely for a few weeks."
"Have you ever walked into a dark room and known there were other people in there with you?" Ezri asked Pyne. The doctor nodded. "It's kind of like that. I can sense that there are other... people... in my head, but I can't make out anything about them."
"Memory integration is spotty even in a more conventional joining," Renhol told Ezri. "There's no way to predict when you'll be able to consciously access the memories of former hosts."
"Wonderful."
"Don't try too hard, Ezri. It will happen in its own time."
"Well, maybe it's not such a bad thing. There are a few of those memories I'm not sure I want anytime soon."
"Like Jadzia's last moments?"
"Yes, or Tobias's shuttle crash-" Ezri broke off suddenly. "Wait a minute. How did I know about that?"
"It's a memory of another host, one after Tobias. You remembered that there was a host named Tobias, and how he died, without actually getting Tobias's memory of the crash."
"Is that normal?"
"'Normal' is a term with no meaning here, Ezri. It happens differently every time--there's no baseline to compare it against."
"So, in other words, all I can do is sit here and wait for it to happen?"
"Exactly."
"Wonderful."
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Destiny
Jan 19, 2005 20:00:11 GMT -5
Post by CaptainPierce on Jan 19, 2005 20:00:11 GMT -5
Chapter Three (originally written 01/16/03)
After three weeks of "waiting for it to happen," both Ezri and Dr. Renhol were getting increasingly frustrated. And, while there was nothing Ezri could do about it, as one of the senior members of the Symbiosis Commission, Sile Renhol had certain resources to fall back upon.
And so it was that, on her twenty-third daily visit to Doctor Renhol's office, Ezri met Doctor Pauma Staron, junior member of the Symbiosis Commision. "Doctor Staron has an idea to jog your memories," Renhol explained.
Ezri turned to Staron, who didn't seem that much older than her. "So help me, if you tell me to go take another swim with the Guardians, you're going to regret it," she told him.
He laughed. "I assure you, there's no swimming involved."
"Good," Ezri said.
"What I had in mind was the zhian'tara."
"The Rite of Closure? I thought that usually wasn't done until memory integration seemed mostly complete."
Renhol sighed. "Usually, it isn't."
"There have," Staron broke in, "been instances where it was been done with patients who have incomplete memory integration. In most of those cases, it seemed to accelerate the process."
"And you're hoping that, in my case, it will start the process."
"Exactly."
"Is there any danger of side effects?"
Again, Renhol sighed. "It's never been done, so how can we tell?" The comment seemd directed more at Staron than Ezri, so she didn't reply. "Still, it seems unlikely that it could do any harm to you or the symbiont."
Ezri didn't take long to make her decision. "Then there's really no reason not to try it, is there?"
"None that I can see," Staron agreed. "Tomorrow, then?"
Ezri and Renhol agreed, and Staron left to see another patient.
"I've just received word from the Destiny that they'll be returning to Trill tomorrow," Renhol told Ezri. "Their refit and is complete, and they'll be spending two days here for resupply. You might want to ask some of your friends from the ship to participate in the zhian'tara."
"There won't be a problem with having non-Trill involved?"
"None. In fact, Jadzia's zhian'tara was done without a single Trill. Humans, Bajorans, Ferengi--even a changeling, if you can believe that."
"Well, I don't know if I can find quite that many people with nothing to do during the resupply, but I'll ask."
"Ezri, can I ask a favor?"
"Of course."
"If you can't find anyone else, could I host Jadzia for you?"
"Why Jadzia specifically?"
"Well, you won't be able to fully understand until you have her memories, but... well, let's just say it's my way of apologizing to her."
"I'll certainly keep that in mind, Doctor. Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I have some calls to make."
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Destiny
Jan 19, 2005 20:10:59 GMT -5
Post by CaptainPierce on Jan 19, 2005 20:10:59 GMT -5
Chapter Four (originally written 1/21/03)Ezri Dax closed her eyes, and felt the warm touch of the Guardian's hand on her shoulder. She felt a slight tingle--or was she just imagining it?--as the Guardian murmured a ritual chant. Idly, she wondered what language it was--it didn't sound like Trill, or at least modern Trill. Maybe an old form, or an old tribal language that died except among the Guardians--And then, the tingling was gone, and the vague sense she'd had for almost four weeks, the sense of there being more people than just her in her head, was lessened. She opened her eyes, and looked past the Guardian standing next to her at the Destiny's counselor, Lieutenant Lise Romenesko. Lise opened her eyes slowly and blinked a few times at the suddenly unfamiliar setting of Ezri's old quarters. Then, she saw Ezri, and broke into a huge smile. "Ezri," she said warmly, and held out her hand. "How wonderful to meet you." "Hello, Lela," Ezri said to the first host of the Dax symbiont. "I only wish it could have been under better circumstances--but then, I suppose, under any other circumstances, we wouldn't have met at all. At least not in this way, not as fellow hosts--fellow Daxes." Ezri sank into a chair. "I don't feel much like a fellow Dax," she sighed. "Because you haven't got all our memories yet?" "Maybe. Or maybe it's just because I don't feel any different. Everything I've read since I was joined talks about how conscious or unconscious hobbies and habits of former hosts can be transferred, and I'm not getting any of that." She pointed at Lise/Lela. "Look at you--you're standing there with your hands behind your back, which is something that Jadzia said she got from you, but it hasn't rubbed off on me yet! All I have from having all you people in my head is half a headache all the time." Lela/Lise smiled again. "It will all work out, Ezri." "How do you know that?" "Because it always does." Lise's voice took on some of the oratorical quality that Ezri had heard in recordings of Lela's speeches to the Council. "Back when I was joined, there wasn't a Symbiosis Commission--the whole concept of joining was new, and nobody really knew what to expect." "Nobody knows what to expect now," Ezri muttered. "All we could do was trust that there was a purpose for it all, that the Great Maker had designed these two vastly different life forms to be compatible for some reason. And there were very few problems in joinings, even without the Symbiosis Commision, or the Initiate Program, or all the data and technology that they have." Lela knelt down beside Ezri. "In a way, what you're feeling is very much what like I felt. There were no memories of previous hosts when I was joined--just vague memories of the symbiont's life in the caves. Which, as you can imagine, weren't all that interesting." "I've already got enough memories of swimming in the caves, thanks." "What really matters is that Dax is still alive. Maybe you'll eventually remember all of what we did, maybe not. But the next host will remember you, Ezri Dax, and what you did." "I hadn't really thought of it that way," Ezri admitted. "But you're right." Ezri and Lela continued talking about what it had been like to be Dax's first host, and about Lela's political career; and, when Dr. Renhol and the Guardian returned, Ezri was quite surprised to find that three hours had already gone by. Another ritual chant, and Lise was herself again. "How do you feel, Ezri?" Dr. Renhol asked. "I feel... I feel..." Ezri stopped and considered things for a moment. "I feel a lot like I did after my first election to the council." Ezri was surprised when she realized what she'd said, and even more surprised to find her hands clasped behind her back. "I remember Lela's first election to the council! And the second, and the third..." "And the fourth?" the Guardian asked. "There wasn't a fourth," Ezri replied. "She pledged on her first campaign to only serve three terms, to keep from becoming a career politician like Montri Sakeld, who she was running against." "Do you remember anything about any of the other hosts?" Dr. Renhol asked. Ezri thought for a moment. "No." The Guardian smiled. "That's all right. You'll get to meet them soon." * * * * * "I had always heard that prospective hosts came from all walks of life," Ezri told Jamia Pyne over dinner that night in the doctor's quarters, "but I never knew what a range that was until today." "I guess I was a little surprised by Audrid," Pyne said. "The point of joining is to give the symbionts new experiences. And certainly motherhood is something new to them..." "True. But just to dedicate your life to taking care of your husband and children--it's so nineteenth century." "There aren't still women who do it on Earth?" "Well, yes, but not many." "Not many do it on Trill, either. After all, Lela, the first host, was one of the first women elected to the Council all those years ago." "It does remind me, though--I need to call my mom sometime. What about the other hosts you met today? Tobin and Emony, right?" "Right." Ezri smiled. "Tobin was--what was the Earth expression you used once--a total math nerd." She and Pyne both laughed. "I'm serious--he's the perfect, stereotypical example of a genius who likes numbers a whole lot more than other people. So brilliant that he could work out all the mathematical theory behind warp drive, subspace, and everything else that we needed to leave Trill and meet the rest of the Galaxy--but too shy to actually to go out and show it to anybody. If he hadn't been Joined, and gotten that extra facet to his personality, we still might not have left the planet." "And what about Emony?" "Actually, I've been meaning to ask you--have you heard of a Doctor Leonard McCoy?" "Heard of him? I took his advanced seminar on starship medicine my senior year at the Academy." Ezri shook her head. "No, the one I'm talking about is much older--Emony Dax met him on Earth back in the 2240's." "Oh, it's the same guy--Admiral McCoy is pushing a hundred and fifty." Pyne looked at Ezri. "How did you actually get through the counseling course at the Academy without reading some of his works on the psychology of starship command? Quarterdeck Breed was required reading, the last I heard." "You're telling me that these are all the same people? I didn't think humans lived that long." Pyne smiled. "Most of us don't. I asked him about it once, and he told me he was trying to outlive a Vulcan." Ezri hadn't really heard the last comment. "You mean I-- I mean, Emony slept with--I mean... oh, hell, I don't know what I mean, but whatever I mean, she did it with that Leonard McCoy?" "Apparently." "Wonderful. I wonder what surprises tomorrow has in store for me?" * * * * * [Author’s note: this was the chapter I rewrote, nearly a year after originally writing it. In the course of doing some minimal research for Chapter 5, I was quite astounded to find that I’d forgotten an entire freaking host!
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Destiny
Jan 19, 2005 20:13:47 GMT -5
Post by CaptainPierce on Jan 19, 2005 20:13:47 GMT -5
Chapter 5 (originally written 7/5/04)
Ezri didn't sleep well that night, haunted by dreams that she could only half remember when she woke up, jumbles of memories from previous hosts and her own life piled on top of one another until even what little she could recall didn't make any sense anyway. When she returned to the Symbiosis Commission complex, she felt like she barely knew who she was.
The transfer of Tobias into Lieutenant Aran Shaull helped a little, though. Shaull had been at the Academy with Ezri, and in fact they'd been involved for a while, though not seriously. When she'd heard that he was on the Destiny, she'd asked him to participate in the zhian'tara, thinking that his tactical-fighter-pilot experience suited Tobias well.
Maybe a little too well, Ezri thought, as Tobias called up the specifications of the Peregrine fighter on a console. "This is amazing," he said. "Whoever designed this as a support courier must have been blind--how could you not make a fighter out of this?"
He's almost as nervous about this as I am, Ezri's counseling training told her, as Tobias babbled on about what an amazing piece of work the Peregrine was. She thought she knew why, so she waited until he'd seemingly run out of things to say, and then said one word to him: "Lenara."
The nervous energy that had been running through Tobias disappeared, and he slumped in his chair like a puppet whose strings had been cut. "I can't believe Jadzia was ready to do that to Dax. Or Lenara to Kahn."
"It's not as simple as that, Tobias," Ezri told him. "A host can't just do something to a symbiont--when you're Joined, any decision you make is made jointly by host and symbiont. The part of Jadzia that was Dax knew that running away with Lenara would result in its death--and it felt that it would be worth it to have that second chance with her."
"And all because I was an idiot and had to fly that shuttle."
OK, Tobias, I'm screwed up enough right now without having to have your guilt rattling around my head on top of it all, Ezri thought, but didn't let any of that frustration show in her voice. "If you hadn't been who you were, Tobias, then Nilani never would have fallen in love with you, and then neither symbiont would have known what it was like to love that much--so much that, at least for a short time, their love was more important than life itself. Don't regret it, Tobias--it was an experience that most Joined Trills--most people of any species--don't get to have."
Tobias took a little more convincing, but by the time the Guardian re-Joined them, Ezri felt that he truly was at peace with what had happened. I should really write up a paper on this, Ezri thought, making a mental note to discuss it with Dr. Renhol later. How often does a counselor get to counsel a part of themselves like that?
* * * * *
"Not the caves again..." Ezri moaned as she dematerialized. All Dr. Staron had said as he led her to the transporter was that he'd solved the problem with Joran.
"Don't worry," Staron said with a smile. "I'll be the one doing the swimming this time."
A few minutes later, Ezri knelt next to a pool as a Guardian--a different one this time, she noticed, although the one who had been helping before was standing next to them--transferred Joran into Staron, who was submerged up to his neck in the pool. As Staron opened his eyes, Ezri could see the flickers of energy that meant the unJoined symbionts in the pool were doing precisely what he and the head Guardians had suspected they would--keeping Joran from assuming too much control over Staron's body.
Ezri had watched a record from the DS9 brig monitors of Jadzia's encounter with Joran, and was prepared for the insane host to try and manipulate her like he had before, to come out swinging and attack with his first words to her. She was a little surprised when the first thing he said was, "Well, this is an interesting solution to the problem. Much more interesting than that holding cell." He smiled. "Hmmm... you weren't expecting that, were you?"
"No," Ezri admitted, realizing that Joran would probably see through any lie she tried to give him.
"Good."
"You like keeping people off-balance, don't you?"
"Of course. Just as you like trying to get into people's heads, trying to fix what's wrong with them."
Ezri shrugged. "It's my job."
"Well, then, have you figured out what's wrong with me yet? And how to fix it?"
"What's to fix?" Ezri asked with another shrug. "First off, you're dead, so what's the point? Secondly, some people are just too crazy to fix."
Joran laughed, laughter that sounded genuine and quite sane. "Not a very progressive 24th-century attitude there, Counselor. It was, however, a wonderful move in this little verbal chess match we're having."
"When your opponent doesn't use his normal strategy, sometimes it's good to adopt it for yourself."
"Indeed it is. You're stronger than I thought, Ezri Dax. Still, I wonder if you're strong enough."
"I'll manage," Ezri told him, nodding to the Guardian and kneeling back down.
"I'm sure you will," Joran replied. As the Guardian put his hand on Staron's shoulder, Joran got in one last shot. "Remember, though, my strength is within you. You have only to call upon me..."
"It'll be a cold day on Vulcan when I need to call on you," Ezri said as she felt Joran flowing back into her head.
* * * * *
The choice of someone to channel Curzon in the zhian'tara had been diffcult. Eventually, Ezri had chosen an old teacher of hers from Sappora VII, Mahan Kintle, an unJoined Trill who had retired to a family estate on his homeworld. It had been more than five years since she'd seen Mahan, and the first few minutes of their conversation had been an odd combination of Ezri Tigan and Mahan catching up and Ezri Dax and Curzon doing the same.
Finally, though, Curzon seemed to settle in a little. "This is a little different than the last time," he said with a smile.
"When you were joined with Odo, the changeling?"
"What an experience that was," Curzon laughed. "For both of us. I'm afraid I got a little out of control--if he'd been a 'solid,' I'm sure he would have gained twenty-five kilos!"
Ezri laughed with him. "There are more advantages to being a changeling than I realized."
"Poor Odo," Curzon sighed. "He wants so badly to understand us solids, but so much of what makes us the way we are is beyond him. The simple enjoyment of food and drink, for example... not to mention the other pleasures of the flesh..."
"From the sound of things," Ezri said with a smile, "you might have lived a little longer if you hadn't been quite so fond of certain pleasures of the flesh."
"Yes, but I wouldn't have enjoyed it nearly as much." Curzon leaned forward. "Enjoy life, Ezri. You don't have to enjoy it the same ways I did, but if you don't find a way to enjoy it, what's the point of living it?"
* * * * *
"So," Ezri asked Jadzia, "why did Doctor Renhol want to channel you?"
"When Joran's memories first started to surface in me," Jadzia replied, "she was under orders from the Symbiosis Commission to let me die rather than reveal what was wrong to save me. Ultimately, she went against those orders and gave Julian the information he needed, but she's always felt guilty about it. By joining with me, she hoped to let me--and you--know how much she regrets everything that happened. I think she also wanted to know more about what happened with Lenara." Jadzia smiled. "Somehow, I don't think that Doctor Renhol is as conservative as most of the rest of the Symbiosis Commission thinks she is..."
As the only two Dax hosts to have served in Starfleet, Jadzia and Ezri talked a while about the differences between serving on a starship like the Destiny, where Captain Raymer ran things very "by the book," and on a station like DS9, where things were a little more loose. Ezri wasn't quite sure why Jadzia kept steering the conversation back to that subject, until the other woman told her, "You need to go back to DS9, Ezri."
"Where your husband is? If that's not d4mned close to reassocation, I don't know what is."
"Well, as long as you don't marry him too, you should be okay." When she saw that her attempt at humor had failed, Jadzia went on. "Ben needs you--needs us."
"What do you mean?"
"Just before Dukat... killed me... there in the temple, I had a--well, a vision, I guess. Something like the one I got from the Orb just after I arrived at Deep Space Nine. I saw Ben in one of the cargo bays, talking to a photon tube, and somehow I knew that it was my coffin. He was talking about how he'd failed as the Emissary, and failed as a Starfleet officer, and how he had to make it right. Then..." Jadzia hesitated. "Then, I saw him lying in the alley behind his father's restaurant, bleeding." She looked Ezri right in the eyes. "Ben needs our help, Ezri. I don't think you can get to Earth in time to stop whatever happened to him, but at least you can help him make things right again."
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Destiny
Jan 19, 2005 20:14:11 GMT -5
Post by CaptainPierce on Jan 19, 2005 20:14:11 GMT -5
Ezri didn't sleep well again that night, but this time every dream seemed to end the same way, with Jadzia's vision of DS9's Captain Ben Sisko, bright red blood in stark contrast to the white clothing he wore. She finally gave up on sleep about 0530, and queried the computer as to Dr. Renhol's location. When the computer reported that Renhol was in her office, Ezri quickly hit the sonic shower and walked over.
"Couldn't sleep?" Renhol asked. Ezri shook her head. "Neither could I."
"I just kept seeing that image of Captain Sisko."
"Me, too." Renhol touched a control on her desk screen, and then folded it back down. "Ezri, when Jadzia told you that I wasn't as conservative as most people thought, she was right. That's why, when I was selected to head the Commission, I picked Pauma to fill my old position."
"Because he's just as un-conservative as you?"
"Even more so," Staron said as he entered the room. He didn't look any better rested than Ezri or Renhol. "Sile told me about what happened with Jadzia, and we were up most of the night talking about it."
"And," Renhol broke in, "we think she was right."
"You two both want me to go back to the station where Jadzia's husband still is?"
"Well, technically, you'd be going to Earth, at least at first. But, if Captain Sisko decides to return to Deep Space Nine, then yes, we think you should go there, as well."
"After everything that Jadzia and Lenara had to go through, you want me to go through the same thing?" Ezri realized she was yelling at the two doctors, but she didn't care.
"Believe it or not," Renhol said, "Jadzia and Lenara's experience is precisely the reason I think you should go back to the station."
"Huh?"
"Sile and I have spent a lot of time talking about the re-association taboo, and after her joining with Jadzia, she's now more receptive to some of my more radical views on the subject," Staron explained.
"Such as?"
"Such as my theory that the re-association taboo is unnecessary and possibly harmful."
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Destiny
Jan 19, 2005 20:14:52 GMT -5
Post by CaptainPierce on Jan 19, 2005 20:14:52 GMT -5
Chapter Six (originally writte 7/6/04)
"Well, you were right about the 'radical' part, at least," Ezri said.
"Let me ask you a question, Ezri. What do you think of Lieutenant Commander Worf?"
"Jadzia's husband? Haven't really thought about him," Ezri replied. Well, except for that one really hot dream last night, she didn't tell them. "From Jadzia's memories, he seems like a nice enough guy, and certainly I remember how much Jadzia loved him--but he doesn't seem like my type."
"You'd be surprised how many Joined Trill that I've talked to say the exact same thing about the spouses of previous hosts," Staron told her.
"The reassociation taboo was established on the grounds that the first Symbiosis Commission didn't want the Joined Trills falling into a rut and just spending every lifetime with the same group of friends," Renhol explained. "What they didn't take into consideration--probably because they didn't know nearly as much about the joining process as we do now--is that every time you Join a new host with a symbiont, it creates a new individual. Just because Jadzia loved Worf, or just because Tobias and Jadzia loved Nilani and Lenara, doesn't automatically mean that you would love any of them."
"Okay, that explains why it might be unnecessary, but how is it harmful?"
"Take Jadzia and Lenara," Staron continued. "Two brilliant scientific minds--who weren't even supposed to talk to each other because their former hosts were married. Who knows if Lenara's artificial wormhole project might have been more successful if she'd been able to talk to Jadzia about it, and get the benefit of all Jadzia's experience with the Bajoran wormhole? And how many other similar, if less spectacular, examples are there?"
"More practically," Renhol took over, "as you know, Ezri, the incident with Joran proved that essentially every Trill can be joined. Part of Jadzia's recovery involved spending time in the symbiont pools, and it seems the symbionts learned about the situation from her. The Guardians have reported that the symbionts seemed to have stepped up their reproduction rate."
"Wait a minute--symbionts reproduce?"
"All sentient life forms do," Renhol said with a smile. "With the symbionts, it's not a particularly fast process, but in about a century, there should be twice as many of them--and probably four times as many in another century."
"And in that sort of society, the reassociation taboo would be next to impossible to enforce," Ezri realized.
"Exactly." Staron sighed. "A hundred years isn't a lot of time to change something we've spent the last two hundred years trying to make people believe in, but what choice do we have?" "And what does all this have to do with me going back to DS9?"
"Dax, as you know, is a highly respected symbiont. If you go back to a high-profile assignment like DS9, and show that a new host can work with a previous host's friends--and ex-husband--in a new capacity, and still lead your own life... well, that goes a long ways towards showing that reassociation isn't automatically a bad thing."
Ezri nodded. "All right, I'll think about it."
"I'll give you access to my research," Staron said as Ezri left. "I hope you'll have time to make some notes from your unique perspective on the subject."
Ezri did just that, spending the rest of the morning and most of the afternoon studying Staron's interviews with new hosts, and trying to make some sense of the jumble of feelings in her head about Nilani and Lenara, and most importantly Worf, for him. At 1600, she beamed up to the Destiny, which had finished its resupply and would be leaving in the morning. She was saying goodbye to all her friends, a mostly untouched Jovian Sunspot in her hand, when all of a sudden the Destiny's officer's lounge disappeared around her, fading into a whiteness so bright that it became hard to tell where it stopped and her body began.
"Um, hello?" she called out.
Suddenly, she was back in the officer's lounge, but a very out-of-focus officer's lounge, and everybody was looking at her strangely. "You are the Dax," Captain Raymer said, in a voice very unlike his usual formal tone.
And just as suddenly, she was back in the white light. "'The Dax?'" she asked. "What's that supposed to mean? I'm a Dax... technically, I guess, I'm all the Daxes, rolled up into one, but 'the Dax' is an odd way of putting that."
She was in Destiny's sickbay, looking at the Dax symbiont in the ICU, and Jamia Pyne was looking at her. "The Jadzia is no more," Jamia said, not sounding much like herself, either. "She was killed by one of the Banished."
She was back in the light. She thought furiously. Jadzia had been killed by a Cardassian named Dukat, formerly the leader of the entire Cardassian Union after he'd engineered a coup with the help of the Dominion. And she seemed to remember something about these "Banished," entities that had been cast out of the Bajoran wormhole by the "Prophets." "You're saying that Dukat was... possessed... by a Pah-wraith when he killed Jadzia."
She was in a scene she hoped never to see again, but knew would recur in her dreams--the Bajoran temple on DS9. She was being held in the air by Dukat's too-powerful arm, looking into his eyes, and seeing something that she couldn't begin to comprehend. "He was an instrument of the Banished ones," the Cardassian said, "and will be again."
Major Kira Nerys walked into the temple. "Only the Sisko can save us."
Ezri tried to reply, but Dukat's hand was too tight around her throat. He threw her toward the far wall of the temple, but before she hit it, she was once again in the light.
"Then why aren't you in his head instead of mine?"
Another scene that she remembered, and didn't want to see, the alley behind Joseph's Sisko's restaurant on Earth. Ben Sisko walked out, not seeing the man behind him as the mysterious figure pulled a knife and drove it deep into his chest. Next to Ezri, Joseph said, "He must walk the path he is on without our interference."
A beautiful woman, one Ezri didn't recognize, walked up and put her arm around Joseph's waist. "He will need friends to help him on that path, Ezri Dax. You must go to him."
Even with her eyes closed to block out the image of Ben bleeding in the alley, Ezri knew when she'd returned to the white light. "Damn you people! Can't you ever just talk to people instead of digging around in their heads first?"
In the control room of a Starfleet runabout, Ezri watched as Kira and Chief O'Brien rushed through a launch sequence. On the screen in front of her, she could see the reason for their hurry--a massive fleet of Cardassian and Dominion warships, firing nonstop at the station. "You corporeal beings are still a mystery to us," Kira said without looking up from her controls.
"As is your linear time," O'Brien added.
On the screen, Ezri watched as DS9's deflectors finally collapsed under the attack, and a volley of weapons fire found the station's fusion core. She turned from the screen and looked out the front window--only to see an equally massive fleet bombarding Bajor. She felt someone move behind her, and heard Julian Bashir's voice saying, "The Sisko is of Bajor. We are of Bajor. Bajor cannot be destroyed." Julian turned her around, tilted her head up with a hand on her chin, and kissed her.
"All right," Ezri said to the light, "I'll go."
She was in bed next to Julian, and they were both naked. "You have chosen wisely," he said...
...and then she was back onboard the Destiny, the glass she'd dropped when the vision began just now hitting the floor and shattering.
* * * * *
Ezri had never been to Joseph Sisko's restaurant before, but Curzon had on many occasions, so she had no problems finding it. She was staring to wish she would have had a few problems, so she'd have more time to figure out what she was going to say. As if the last two days on the transport from Trill weren't long enough, she thought.
In the end, as the three generations of Siskos looked at her in obvious bewilderment, all she could say was "It's me... Dax."
The End
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